Social Connection
“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” -Aristotle
Why Is It Important?
Social Connection is arguably the most impactful pillar of positive psychology and for sustaining a happy and healthy life. According to one scientific study, the quality of our relationships is the number one predictor of how long we'll live, outweighing other strong predictors, such as obesity, smoking, and heart disease. Another study revealed that keeping consistent, healthy relationships can improve our health by a whopping 50 percent, even when compared to differences in age, sex, initial health status, and cause of death. Humans developed through evolution to be social beings, thriving off of how often and how well we contribute and communicate with others. When all humans lived in tribes, the loneliest people died first due to a lack of group protection. Today, we are no different; our bodies, minds, and souls crave others to feel love, belonging, and protection. However, happiness researcher, Johan Harri, alarmingly notes we are the first to "disband our tribes". He says that especially in our American culture of individualism, intensive use of technology, and the situational context of Covid, we are lonelier than we have ever been. It is imperative for the health and well-being of ourselves and others that we socially connect, skillfully and healthily, as often and as in person as we can.
How to Connect in Healthy Ways
Online connections can often be powerful for folks living far away from loved ones or for finding like-minded communities, especially during the COVID-era when online relationships became our only option. But we must also be cautious of the limitations online connections provide and be careful not to depend solely on “followers” as our definition of a strong and real community. Scientific research has shown having several low-quality connections with online friends and followers cannot quite replace the benefits of having even just a few high-quality, in-person relationships. But, what is a high-quality relationship? How can we create healthy relationships with others? For starters, lonelier people tend to assume making relationships comes organically, thus they often do not put in enough effort to form one. In actuality, taking risks in putting ourselves out there and being vulnerable in skillful ways is how we can best form relationships. Some important keys to a healthy relationship are to be open to trust and honesty, to accept yourself and others for being your authentic selves, to have a large capacity for empathy and compassion, to practice gratitude with others, and to "savor the good and reframe the bad.”
Articles & More
Videos
The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life
How Love and Connection Exist in Micro-Moments
What Is Your Attachment Style?
Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness
How friendship affects your brain - Shannon Odell
The difference between healthy and unhealthy love | Katie Hood
Podcasts